There's lots of bad things that can happen prom night, the sort of things that will ruin your night, or make you the talk of the school the next day, or hurt you so much that you will be down on yourself for a long time afterward. So I just want to say, first, that I don't want to scare you. Sure, bad things happen--and you've all heard stories about them happening to someone else. But they don't happen as often as you think, and in fact rarely happen at all. The unfortunate thing is that because they are so intense and memorable when they do happen, we tend to believe they happen more frequently than they actually do. It's like when airplanes crash. Just ask yourself, how many airplanes make it safely to their destination for every airplane that crashes? The ratio is something

My date had been drinking with his buddies in the limo on the way to prom and when we got there he and his friends were already drunk. Well, they managed to get through the teacher at the door who was on the lookout for drinking, and when they were inside my date got sick and barfed at the table behind the punch.

like a million to one--so it's not that bad at all. However, because the airplane people don't ever know which one of those million is going to be the one, it makes sense for them to take precautions for every plane. It's the same thing for prom. You don't know if disaster will come your way, and it almost certainly won't. But since there's no 100% guarantee, and because disaster may come to someone sometime, it makes sense for everyone to be prepared.

The second thing I want to say, is that there's no need to get all apprehensive and worried about prom night, and about bad things happening that night. Just take your precautions, and then go on and enjoy the night. Sometimes, the bad things that happen are caused by you worrying so much that they might happen, that you in fact make them happen. For example, you have a very hot date whom you've been crushing on for years. But you're so worried that he's going to put the moves on you, that you talk to him so much about it, that you nag him, and you hound him, and in the end he decides you're an impossible person to be with because a) you're too uptight, and b) you don't trust him. And so he ditches you. See how you just made the bad thing happen? All I can say is, be intelligent about things: know that something can always go wrong, and therefore plan for it, but don't obsess over it so much that you make it go wrong. It's like the airplane example above: what if the American Aviation Authority worried so much that a plane might crash that they grounded all airplanes? How useful would that be?

The basic disasters that can happen prom night are of two kinds: those caused by your date, and those caused by your dress ripping, or your hot pink thong exposing, or something like that. Anything else is not a disaster and is totally manageable. Let's deal with the one about your dress first, because that's the easy one. Imagine the following scenarios:

It was my first dance ever. I wore a tight fitting sea green dress. It looked cute. I was on the dance floor, my date had left me, and I was dancing with some old friends. Limp Bizkit came on, and my friend, Tyler, picked me up and was holding me in the air. The slit in the back of my dress ripped up past my butt to mid back. I was almost in tears. The whole dance floor was staring and laughing, even the dj pointed me out. But Tyler's sweet side showed up, and he escorted me to the bathroom, walking behind me so no one would see. He also got me some pins so I could pin up my dress.

Or this one:

I was at a dance, jumping up on the stage and then my date asked me to dance, so we were dancing and then I felt a little breezy so I looked behind me and my dress had slit all the way up to my cheeks, and my matching thong was showing, I had to run out of the gym holding my dress together. I had to tape it to last the end of the night, and later had grandma sew it up for me.

Now what do you do if this happens? Only one thing you can do, which is what these girls did: put yourself back together and carry on with the evening. However, that's one reason why your prom kit should include a couple of safety pins, and maybe even a needle and thread (no, not tape). It takes only a few moments to go to the bathroom and sew yourself back together. It doesn't have to be pretty, just good enough to last the rest of the night.

I went to my prom with Lee, who I had a crush on since grade 7!!! I was wearing a strapless gown, and I decided that I shouldn't wear a bra. So we get there and are dancing really fast. Then me and my friend Wendy decided to dance on the stage and it was really hot! It was like 100 degrees! Suddenly I felt cooler and everyone was laughing. I looked down and my boobs had popped out of my dress! Even Lee was laughing!

So what if this or something like it happens? Well, there's not much you can do except bare (oops!) bear it stoically and heroically, and put yourself back together.