There are 4 paths, or four types of control, when it
comes to secks. Depending on our choice, we arrive at very different feelings and very different consequences.
(click anywhere in each cell for stories and more)
Maybe a better word is "self-restraint."
It works like this: society--the whole concept of society--exists so that people can live
together. To do this, society has to define itself as the opposite of nature, and it must then
consider nature as non-social, or an animal nature.
While society does not specifically say that an animal nature is evil, it does say that it is antithetical
(that is, is opposite to) and inimical (that is, is hostile to) society, and that therefore it is
not good--at least not from the point of view of society.
Since an animal nature is not good, society must strive to control it. It succeeds in this control by
making and enforcing rules. These are the rules that pattern and give meaning to our individual lives.
They are at the foundation of our living together as moral beings, without killing each other, or raping, or
robbing, or otherwise doing whatever we want.
When we get older and start being "responsible," what this really means is that we have internalized
these rules society gives us and that we are now upholding them ourselves--in other words, we are
now practicing self-restraint.
We are not--repeat, not--doing whatever we want. We are doing what we feel and believe is right.
And doing what we feel and believe is right means that we are now controlling our animal natures.
That is what we mean by "control."
So, when it comes to secks--and it always comes down to secks!--control means simply: behaving in ways which
are responsible; and these are the ways which society accepts as moral and right. Anything else, and you're
losing control.
